Let Them Eat Cake

1243My husband and I just celebrated our 9 year anniversary on Tuesday. Client feedback coupled with reflections on the last nine years of marriage afforded me a small insight. Just as each of us have relationships with other people, we all have a relationship with ourselves. And, like a marriage, our self-management skills play heavily into our struggles and successes.

Part of our wedding process ten years ago, involved pre-cana (a Catholic tradition involving time to reflect on the marraige journey.) Our course was led by a couple married 40+ years, who suggested a banking paradigm involving metaphorical deposits and withdrawals. Too many deposits and few withdrawals leaves one individual feeling depleted. Too many withdrawals and no deposits, the bank will eventually close your account (eh-hum). I wonder if we can’t extend this analogy to our healthy living?

The holiday weekend is upon us. Many of us are going to make some withdrawals on our healthy living account: increased indulgent eating, high alcohol consumption or stressful travel. And, many of us are going to make some deposits: sleep, rest, quality time to socialize with loved ones or time finish personal projects. We can’t have too much of one or the other and expect to have a healthy state. All work and no cake makes Jane a dull girl.

Strive for balance in the big picture. A holiday weekend of indulgences is no big deal to a person the consistently takes great care of herself. On the flip side, one great weekend of sleep cannot undo months of deprivation and stress (although, it is a step in the right direction.)

Enjoy your long weekend as you see fit – eat a piece of cake, sleep longer than usual, have an uninterrupted conversation or take time to cook your favorite recipe. Consider your healthy living bank account and applaud yourself if you’ve struck a fulfilling balance. Not quite there yet? Today is a great day to start.

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150% Is Not the Answer

A client shared her dilemma: “When working toward a goal, I can give 150% and I can give 50%, but I’m not able to find that balance of giving 100% that allows for a more sustainable pattern and balance in my life.”

Listen, an all or nothing work ethic has it’s benefits. But in the game of habitually, healthy living, it will leave you wanting. Why is 150% so bad? Why on Earth would you want me to hold back, Michelle? Isn’t “more” better? Not if it isn’t sustainable and not if you haven’t progressed into it. Why? Because each of us can only sustain that level of intensity for so long and often we end up performing at 50% for weeks (or even months) afterward as a means of recovery. So, instead of a steady, consistent, doable work out regime, we end up with one really intense period followed by lackadaisical weeks or months. This does not deliver the benefits you seek. If you have trouble with moderation, here are a few suggestions:

 

Modeling: Whether real or fictitious, imagine how a person with a good sense of life balance would handle it. Put them in your scenario and copy cat. Know someone you would like to emulate? Ask them for suggestions.
Hindsight: Analyze what seems to have worked for you in the past. I appreciate that your really intense healthy living venture worked for a time. I ask you to look at the months that followed, did you gain all the weight back? Did you stop exercising all together? Did a more moderate plan provide longer term success?
Dare to Be Different: All or nothing people and Type A personalities tend to surround themselves with others like them. I wouldn’t suggest you find a whole new circle, but I do suggest you embrace being different in your efforts toward healthy living moderation. Different might just be your key to success and success, afterall, is the whole point.
Good luck! Email me if you need help.